Avowed Identities:
kind
intelligent
good writer
bisexual
artistic
caregiver
liberal
socially awkward
unique/odd (good odd)
geeky and proud of it!
reader
history
good memory
horrible at spelling
Ascribed Identities:
quiet
naive
artistic
show off
caring
kind/polite/nice
socially awkward
timid
good singer
bad singer
good memory
buff bad at names, dates, directions
I have been ascribed the identity of quiet by almost everyone that I have ever meet casually, or have not formed a bond with, or who has never been in a class with me that allows discussions. I tend to reinforce this, as I enjoy listening and learning about people and am very aware that my interests are ... very rarely on the same page as others. Being fascinated, with the construct of language and how its nuances amuse you tends not to go over so well. Also, it is hard to turn that interest off, when every conversation that you ever have had , or ever will have directly feeds into that particular interest. But, I don't mind being thought of as quiet as it gives me much more opportunity to listen and when you listen to people you get to know them quite well, and hear some fascinating things.
I have been ascribed the identity of naive since coming to college, by older students. It has been fairly accurate, as living on my own for the first time I had a lot to learn. Also, everyone will be naive about something for the rest of their lives. This one I have attempted to resist it have been: to learn a lot about things that I want to know about, work on gaining much more practical knowledge, and just trial and error with real life situations.
I have been ascribed the identity of artistic very early on, when I was really little by family and friends and teachers. It is one that I really really avow as well, and cherish as a part of myself. However, becoming complacent with it is a bad thing, so I am constantly trying to expand upon it and challenge myself to develop my artistically.
My sister has ascribed me a show off. There is a certain level of competition in siblings, but I tend to dread competition, and it scares me more than anything on earth. I honestly will do most anything to avoid competition, and am fine not getting recognition if it means avoiding competition. Except in trivia games and air hockey; with those I get really, really competitive. I don't really try and resist that one, I just ignore her.
I have been ascribed kind/polite/nice by coworkers, group members, friends, teachers, and customers. With being happily quiet and self admittedly odd, in I think a good way, the fact that people tend to remember about me is being nice. I like to listen to people and really try to empathize, I also like to care for others; hence, studying to be a teacher. I know that I don't achieve this all of the time and at times can lose patience, or be too accommodating. However, this matters a lot to me in an avowed identity, so hearing that it is also ascribed is good to hear. However, it is again something that I cannot be complacent with.
As far as socially awkward, that has been ascribed to me by a lot of people, particularly one set of coworkers. When people don't see it as a good thing they call me weird, when they think it is a good thing they call it unique, or humorous. I own this quality as a part of myself. I like the things that I like, and for the reasons that I like. I try and resist how it can impact communication negatively by really trying to listen to people and finding something to empathize with in others.
The good singer/bad singer ascription comes form mostly my sister and friends. Many of my friends think that I am a good singer, not great but good. Many people are surprised at how low my voice is, there are selected base notes that I can hit, but soprano is way out of my ability. My sister is actually trained and wants to do something professional with her voice, she also has perfect pitch. She doesn't belive that I have a good voice, but she has really high expectations. My resistance to these ascriptions is basically to sing for myself, I do not want to do anything in particular with my voice, and instead of singing in a professional manner I would rather figure out how to move my mouth while singing to imitate the vocal intonation of the singer on the recording of songs. I have gotten very good at imitating Tim Curry and do an almost perfect copy of Rod from Avenue Q.
As for memory: I have been ascribed a good or bad memory depending on what I have been asked to remember. I have no real memory of names, dates and directions. Well, directions if you want it in muscle memory, but intellectual recollection; no dice. However, if you want the lyrics to dinosaur songs that I heard when I was three or the specifics in a lecture topic; I'm your girl. I have a good memory, except for names, dates and directions. I resist this ascription by writing down names, dates and directions.
What ascriptions do you think that we hold on to the most, the accurate or the inaccurate?
Why?
How might it be possible to have two polar opposite ascriptions and or avowed identities bot be true at the same time?
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I think that we hang onto the ascriptions that make us feel good. I do not think that it has to do with accurate and inaccurate. People want to hang onto the positives that people say about them as it makes them feel better about the way they look or act.
ReplyDeleteI think we hold onto the inaccurate alot more because some people listen to what other say about them. But I also think we hold onto the accurate everyone loves a compliment and loves when something nice is said about them!Everyone has two different sides to them, and knows when and where to bring them out.
ReplyDeleteI think that when a person is mature and confident you’re more likely to hold onto the accurate ascribed identities. When you already know who you are, you’re less liked to let someone else’s opinion affect who you are or who you become.
ReplyDeleteI ran into this when listing my ascribed identities. I listed both judgmental and accepting. The people who you are accepting to are obviously going to ascribe you the identity of accepting, while the same goes for the person that you are judgmental of. Because of this, these polar opposite traits are still both accurate assessments.
I don't think people like ascribed identity when it has negative image, no matter if it's accurate or inaccurate. Even if it's inaccurate, people want to believe that they want to be looked a good person.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I might have two polar opposite ascription when I speak different languages. If I speak Japanese, I can handle it very well and I know how to speak completely when I care about otehr people. However, my English is not perfect and I don't know what to say others perfectly when others need help. So, even if it's the same me, Japanese friends might think I'm caring, but people who speak in English might not.
I think we hold on the the accurate ones the most. I think if we recognized an ascribed identity as inaccurate, then we just let it roll off our backs. If you know it to be untrue, why worry about it?
ReplyDeleteI think the shy/outgoing ascribed identities can both be accurate as people close to you can see you as outgoing, whereas an acquaintance might perceive you as shy.